


Suddenly Sort Of A Lot On Fire

by faerymorstan



Series: Biscuitverse [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: But John Is Out Of Town, Crack, Fluff, Johnlockary - Freeform, Marylock - Freeform, No Two People Are Not On Fire, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-11 23:58:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2087889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faerymorstan/pseuds/faerymorstan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mary has a lie in, Sherlock has a wobbly, and Mrs Hudson is so *very* not your housekeeper, dears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Suddenly Sort Of A Lot On Fire

**Author's Note:**

> written for marylock week. yay!
> 
> edited 8/7/2014 when i suddenly realized that sherlock is still --SH-ing his texts at this point. i'm playin it all arthur conan doyle with continuity, here. :p

From: Sherlock Holmes

To: Mary Morstan Watson

**Mary.--SH**

**Mary! **\--SH****

**Wake up. **\--SH****

**I am in the kitchen and you should join me immediately. **\--SH****

**Perhaps sooner. **\--SH****

**Mary!! **\--SH****

**I will have you know that I am not stomping around the flat and making a great deal of noise for my health. **\--SH****

**I am doing it so that you will WAKE UP. **\--SH****

**Which you are, for no reason I can discern, emphatically *not* doing. **\--SH****

**Oh, for God’s sake. **\--SH****

**SHORT WIFE **\--SH****

**I REQUIRE YOUR ATTENTION **\--SH****

 

From: Mary Morstan Watson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**If you’re trying to make me defenestrate you before the birth of our first child, you are doing an *excellent* job.**

**Wait. What’s that smell??**

 

From: Sherlock Holmes

To: Mary Morstan Watson

**John is not here and I am temporarily taking over the role of Thoughtful Husband. **\--SH****

**Consequently, I have made pancakes. **\--SH****

**They are only slightly burnt. **\--SH****

**No. That is a lie. **\--SH****

**They are very burnt and the stove is a little bit on fire. **\--SH****

 

From: Mary Morstan Watson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**Of course it is.**

 

From: Sherlock Holmes

To: Mary Morstan Watson

**I need an adult. **\--SH****

 

From: Mary Morstan Watson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**Of course you do.**

**Be right down.**

 

From: Martha Hudson

To: Mary Morstan Watson

**Yoohoo! Mary, love, I hate to wake you, but I think Sherlock’s started another fire.**

**Why he doesn’t just ask you for attention, I’ll never know.**

 

From: Mary Morstan Watson

To: Martha Hudson

**Thanks, Mrs H.**

**Fire’s out.**

**Pancakes are a lost cause, I’m afraid.**

 

From: Sherlock Holmes

To: Martha Hudson

**Mrs Hudson! **\--SH****

**We require breakfast. **\--SH****

 

From: Martha Hudson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**Not your housekeeper, dear.**

 

From: Sherlock Holmes

To: Martha Hudson

**Tea and toast for two, if you would be so kind. **\--SH****

 

From: Martha Hudson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**I really wouldn’t.**

 

From: Sherlock Holmes

To: Martha Hudson

**And a plate of those biscuits I like. **\--SH****

 

From: Martha Hudson

To: Mary Morstan Watson

**Meet you at Speedy’s in ten?**

 

From: Mary Morstan Watson

To: Martha Hudson

**Already at the front door.**

 

From: Sherlock Holmes

To: Martha Hudson

**HUDDERS. **\--SH****

**Are you conspiring with my wife?! **\--SH****

 

From: Martha Hudson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**Oh, for Heaven’s sake, Sherlock. Don't be such a drama queen.**

**We’re only going to breakfast.**

 

From: Sherlock Holmes

To: Martha Hudson

**You’re going to breakfast WITHOUT ME. **\--SH****

 

From: Martha Hudson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**Well, you _are_ rather a pain in the arse, dear.**

**Anyhoo, don’t be too down about it. We’ll bring you back some biscuits.**

 

From: Sherlock Holmes

To: Martha Hudson

**You cannot buy your way back into my good graces with _biscuits._ **\--SH****

 

From: Martha Hudson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**Not even _penguin_ biscuits?**

 

From: Sherlock Holmes

To: Martha Hudson

**Have a lovely breakfast. **\--SH****

**Do keep an eye on Mary. **\--SH****

**I’m worried about her. **\--SH****

**She’s been nauseous lately. Hasn’t been eating. **\--SH****

**Hence my decision to make her pancakes. **\--SH****

**She loves pancakes. **\--SH****

**Or used to, before I lit the house on fire with them. **\--SH****

**Anyway I am well aware of how to put out fires and have done so before. **\--SH****

**Recently, in fact. (Sorry about the curtains. Again.) **\--SH****

**But John usually does the Thoughtful Things, and John isn’t here, and I wanted Mary to know that I noticed she wasn’t feeling well, and I wanted her to feel better, I wanted to *help* her feel better, and then the thing I was doing to help was suddenly sort of largely on fire, and I just… panicked. **\--SH****

**Am beginning to suspect that I am a rubbish husband. **\--SH****

 

From: Martha Hudson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**Oh, Sherlock.**

 

From: Mary Morstan Watson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**Waiting for Mrs H at Speedy’s.**

 

From: Martha Hudson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**I’m sure you’re doing fine, dear.**

 

From: Mary Morstan Watson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**Miss you already.**

 

From: Sherlock Holmes

To: Mary Morstan Watson

**Miss you, too. **\--SH****

**Come home soon. **\--SH****

 

From: Mary Morstan Watson

To: Sherlock Holmes

**I’ll bring biscuits.**

**< 3**

 

From: Sherlock Holmes

To: Mary Morstan Watson

**That’s my girl. **\--SH****

**:-* **\--SH****


End file.
